About creativity and the uncomfortable magic of doubt

Welcome into this last month of summer, which seems so full of colours and feelings, full of shadows and lots of light, and hopefully very full of love.

I wish you have been finding lots of love and have been living this month abundantly!

I started this year doubting my abilities as an artist and wondering about my new works in progress, nothing seemed to work. I seemed to be unable to reach the “finished” moment of any of the paintings covering the floors of my studio, nor feel happy or excited about any outcome.

I kept painting, hoping this hindering and uncomfortable doubt would vanish by itself, but it got stronger and bigger.

I kept painting.

I felt troubled.

With these feelings in my heart, rather than staring at my own artworks, I decided to see some exhibitions by other artists. I saw Louise Burgeois’ very haunting and strong work, Wassily Kandinsky’s wonderful and exhilarating colours, shapes and compositions, Emily Kam Kngwarreye’s paintings and batiks full of longing and beauty for our country and Ann Thomson’s paintings full of life, exuberance and shadows which come with such force.

All the exhibitions touched me deeply.

That which touched me most was the courage of these artists.

Their courage to keep working despite their own doubts.

So, I kept painting.

And one day, in my next exhibition, or on your next studio visit, you can decide for yourself. Despite all my doubt, I very much hope you will be touched as well.